Breastfeeding literature and products abound, but sometimes what you need to hear most is whispered among women, passed on in one generation to another. These precious and intimate tidbits should have being used in a lovely gift box which has a hinged lid, kept among other special, womanly things.
Have you ever were built with a question that’s so deeply personal, you might barely obtain the words out, while you knew you needed to say them? I had a real question, and I write about it in the interests of the women available that never managed to speak it on their own. It is an emotionally charged question that may surface on your first pregnancy, if you are considering breastfeeding your baby.
I recall the setting in which I asked it – a routine prenatal check with my midwife, whom I have great respect and affection for. Over the course of our biweekly visits, we created a friendship. Her wisdom and many a lot of experience comforted and informed me.
When I spoke my question, it was in a very whispered stutter. She kindly and patiently leaned close to hear, and waited without moaning before the words finally choked away from my throat.
My question was: “I get sexually aroused when my breasts and nipples are touched – does that mean that I could easily get sexual feelings with my baby while breastfeeding? Do I have the possible to be a pedophile?” There. I stated it. The horrible, disgusting thought, which the hormonal emotional roller coaster of childbearing had amplified, was out.
She smiled in her own loving, reassuring, amused way, and said firmly “NO. They are two totally different things. You have nothing to concern yourself with!” I asked her if anyone else had asked her that. She asserted yes, which she suspected more women wonder about it which do not ask.
She went on to express that, when my husband and I wish to be intimate, to put the newborn in the other room. Otherwise, when I hear the infant cry, it’s going to be as being a switch being flipped, and the sexual occasion will abruptly end as I instinctively reply to the newborn.
Now the question which plagued my sleep, seems almost silly if you ask me, because I know from my very own experience that my midwife was right. The moment I gave birth, another dimension of my being was awakened – the mothering instincts that have been latent came alive fully force.
Now it is completely obvious: Breastfeeding has nothing whatsoever regarding sexuality. The deep intimacy I feel with my baby when breastfeeding is actually love.
Although obvious now, this question had weighed so heavily on me when pregnant, that I deemed it worth going beyond embarrassment to come up with it, should it help even the next woman.